Was it ever more than a feeling for you? Your experiences and your stimuli and your memories. Were they ever more than a scratch at the back of your mind? Can you remember the emotions you felt in those moments as well as you remember the moments themselves?
Such a trivial thing it is trying to rehash a long forgotten memory or a faded idea. Is that where the scars came from? If it were embedded in the skin then maybe the feeling of running your fingers across it would unlock more than what your mind allows. I would rather the scars not be necessary, but sometimes the mind fails where it is expected to succeed. Though it is sure to maintain this one thing; I have not forgotten you.
Through all the jarring changes and swaths of harrowed weeks of fragmented thought your constant presence never waned. I must say, you are not the first and surely not the last to hold a permanent place in my mind. If at all possible, I would like for most I have met to maintain a seat in the halls of my memory, but I understand that some must be forgotten, and so they will.
The emotions shared and the thoughts of those that were hidden form an all encompassing zeitgeist of the entire history of you somewhere in my head. I never knew the start of you, and will almost certainly not be present for the end, but I will always remember the beginning of my knowledge of you, and I dread the idea of the ending.
Perhaps the feelings are all that it ever was, but I choose to believe it is more, and always has been. I choose to forego the ignorance of acknowledging a deeper understanding, and I cherish the ability to see beyond the echo in my mind and the thudding in my chest with which you have left me. With which you have all left me. I am forever grateful.
Grub's Dirt 